10 Things RPG Developers Do That Need To Fucking Stop

1. What The fuck's an RPG?!

This has got to be the worst part of any game book. Should there be an introduction for beginners? Sure. Absolutely. But often, this section turns into one of several things:

• A rant about how much other RPGs suck and why this one is obviously better. (I'm looking at you, Palladium Games)
• A boring "actual play" transcript which contains none of the fun of actual play.
• Several pages of the developer rambling about how great they are personally.
• Incredibly vague and largely misleading, resulting in misunderstandings and hurt feelings. (FFS, the DM is not a "god", Gygax! What have you done?!)
• A condescending "solo adventure" which contains no elements of being a game.
• An almost spiritual defense of gaming as an art form.
• A simplified description of the current RPG as though all RPGs are exactly the same.

I've read so many terrible "What is an RPG?" chapters that my eyes bleed whenever I see that heading in a table of contents. They are very rarely, if ever, even vaguely effective. Most of the time, they are either boring or infuriating. Just give a general explanation in the introduction. That's what the introduction is for. If I can do a complete primer on role playing in 2 pages, I'm sure a full professional dev team can compete.

2. The Common Core

D&D sets the trends in the RPG hobby, let's not pretend otherwise. One of the strangest trends is that of the "3 Core Books" publishing scheme. The original D&D game was made of paperback pamphlets whose thickness was limited by the staple size. As a result, the material was divided into 3 books and sold in a box. These 3 books were wholly unlike the corebooks that would later appear, they were a disorganized mess with related information spread out between them...

...Ok, never mind, they're exactly like the corebooks of later editions!

And, really, that's the problem right there! In order for the players to play, they need to understand the game. Trying to separate the information into DM-only, player-only, resource-only, etc., makes no sense in the long run, because there is no clear line. In general, the more every player understands every part of the game, the better it runs! When you try to divide your game across multiple sources, all you do is make it harder to learn and harder to run. ALL of the information necessary to run the game should be in one book and organized categorically in order of access frequency.

D&D holds to the 3 corebooks structure out of tradition alone, but everyone else is just copying them without regard for whether it actually makes any sense. Here's the fact: it doesn't make any sense. Unless you find yourself on the dev team for the next edition of D&D, don't do this.

3. Shameless Product Plugs.

Any game made by an actual publishing company does this if they have even so much as 1 supplement published or planned. 5th edition D&D is shockingly guilty of this, and sometimes reads like a sales catalogue. Throughout the pages, it makes references to old D&D adventures, published settings, other books that were in the works, and even the damn novels!

Here's a hint: if I bought your product, I am already your customer. You have me. Don't oversell it. Don't upsell me. If your product is good, the accessories will sell themselves. If your product is crap, no sales pitch can help it. Advertising is inherently insulting, and advertisers are the scum of the earth. Keep that shit out of your rule book. Put it in a pamphlet at the end, or package a flier inside the shrink wrap. Don't plaster it all over the back cover or sneak it into the writing.

Do you want to know what happens to advertisements in my rule books? I either cut them out or black them out with a sharpie marker.

4. D&D, but with hookers! And blackjack!

RPGs as a hobby and as an industry are utterly weird. One game, still in circulation, sets the tone for everything else. D&D isn't just the first RPG, it's the core of the hobby. Hundreds of games have been designed purely as a reaction to D&D. FUDGE, Hero, Omnisystem, Amber, and many others sport systems that are intentionally designed to resolve perceived "problems" with the D&D system. Some take it really far, like FUDGE or Hero. Others just fiddle around with the task resolution and chargen, like Palladium and Pathfinder.

The problem with many of these systems is that they come across as more of a commentary on D&D than actual games of their own sometimes, especially when they have paragraphs that prattle on about "the limitations of other/older RPGs". When a designer cares more about reputation, influence, revenge, or some other intangible unrelated to actual play entertainment, they run the risk of diminishing the quality of their game as a whole.

So if the alignment system in D&D offends you, just don't use it in your game. Don't mention it at all. Don't talk about what makes your game different or special, just talk about what your game is.

5. Theory adherence.

I love RPG theory. I believe it gives us a useful language with which we can meaningfully discuss and critique RPG design and play. However, I'm not a big fan of many RPG theory adherents. My main problem: they're damn ignorant most of the time. See, a lot of RPG theory was written by people who primarily played RPGs as some sort of an artistic experience, without much consideration for the subject as a game. As a consequence, RPG theory seems really isolated and weird to anyone who has any understanding of game design on the whole. As an example, maybe one day I'll write an article trying to consolidate the Bartle player typology with the trifold model of player agenda.

The point is, designers who hold really tight to theoretical expressions of role playing tend to make really weird games that don't even really feel like games. The more theoretical and abstract the designer is, the less game-like their creations are.

6. Theory disregard.

On the other end of the spectrum, of course, are developers who just don't have a clue- and stubbornly refuse to get one. This is the category where most of the blind design comes from. What Ron Edwards affectionately called "fantasy heartbreakers" (RPGs built in the mold of D&D) all fall into this category, and the sheer bulk of the hobby occupied by this category of games reveals how powerful D&D's influence has been.

Simply put: these games only get published because the developer didn't have enough knowledge of the industry to realize how derivative there work really is, and publishers didn't know enough about game design to tell the difference between one product and another. The result is an ocean of samey rulebooks about generic fantasy settings with baroque rules that nobody remembers.

Except me. I remember. My bookshelf is a gaming graveyard.

7. Your mom's basement is not a "publishing studio".

And trying to assert that it is is pretty damn arrogant and egocentric of you.

If you stray from the major publications, you will find no shortage of developers who happily toot their own horn at every chance. The most annoying of them write with the delusion that they are the forefront of a new movement in gaming. These folks happily announce their one-man operation to be a whole company or studio, even as their book is published under the name and copyright of an actual private company.

Let's get something straight: unless you have people working on your dime to produce and market a playtested product, you are not the be-all-and-end-all of gaming.

8. Aleena the Bard Scowls at your Hipsterism.

There are a class of art-piece RPGs which attempt to hold reader interest by writing their rulebook in narrative form, or something close to it. I can think of 3 major examples of this taken to its extreme: D&D Basic boxed set, Amber Diceless, and Polaris. The truth is, when done right, it works well! I was thoroughly entertained by all three of those! But it's rarely done right and often comes across as trite and hackish.

The real problem with this is that it makes the game harder to run. Because the information isn't encyclopedically organized, making any kind of a rules reference becomes a nightmare! This form of writing just adds to the filler text you have to sift through on your way to the crunch. So, while it gets people interested in playing, it also pissed people off when they actually do play.

9. Fall rate and fall damage is specified in the featherfall and flight spell descriptions.

Overall disorganization is like a tradition in the D&D franchise. It's renowned for forcing players to go digging for single obscure sentences in inappropriate locations for basic rules spread out across multiple sources. Not surprisingly, trend-setter as it is, many people in the hobby copy the same sort of haphazard information management seen in D&D. 5th edition is probably the first time D&D has ever seen a halfway logical presentation, and happily the hobby as a whole has been moving toward a more encyclopedic format.

Here's the deal: rules describe content, content uses rules, but content is not rules. Rules are how things are described and how things work. Content are the things being described by and interacting through those rules.

For example:

• Rule: Weapons in this game can deal damage of slashing, piercing, or bludgeoning type.
• Content: Shortswords exist in this game. They deal 1d6 piercing damage.

In general, rules should be described in standalone format, grouped by relevance to each other and importance of reference frequency. Content should be described in subsections under the rules used to describe that content. It seems pretty obvious when explained that way, but you'd be amazed how often publishers will fail at this distinction and sort the information in reverse order by mistake.

10. White boys club.

There exists in the RPG hobby, a strong tendency toward juvinility. While many are quick to blame the individual players, the truth is that a problem at the bottom always stems from a problem at the top. If gamers are crass children, it's because the people in charge of the movement are crass children themselves. Now, perhaps Gygax was just a product of his time, but the racist and sexist themes of pulp fantasy charged the game he made, and the blind imitation of his fans has sustained those themes even through to 5th edition, ironically held as one of the most inclusive RPGs to date.

Resolution Mechanics: Omnisystem

Omnisystem is a generic formal RPG system published in 2005 as one of the many responses to the d20 system that were published at the time. It's kind of D&D 3.5e equivalent to what Ron Edwards would call a "D&D Heartbreaker". Like all of the "D&D+" systems published at the time, its primary focus lies in the resolution mechanic.

A LOT of people have a problem with the core mechanic. Enough people that an entire generation of RPGs were published by dissatisfaction alone. I already discussed the swing problem, but there's more to it than that. Omnisystem deals with the arbitrary nature of ability scores and ability modifiers.

In D&D you roll dice to determine ability scores and then compare those scores to a chart to determine the applicable modifier. When you roll an attack or check, the modifier applies to the die roll, but the score itself becomes almost irrelevant. The modifiers are also so small compared to the die rolls that the modifiers also wind up being mostly irrelevant. Many people feel cheated by this system which is almost a complete gamble. Omnisystem attempts to deal with this by inverting the system so that modifiers come from the difference between your score and the task DC.

The idea is pretty simple: scores and DCs should represent the same scale, while the die roll represents situational deviation from the character's norm. To do this, when a character attempts a task the player subtracts the DC from the applicable score. The difference is then applied to a d20 roll. The result of the roll is then compared to a chart. How well  (or poorly) you rolled determines not only whether you were successful, but also the degree of success you experience. Very good rolls get bonus effects, and very bad ones get additional penalties.

The genius of the Omnisystem is that it includes degrees of success. It isn't black-and-white binary the way the D&D core mechanic is. It gives the DM a cue for when something should happen mechanically based on a high or low die roll, introducing the effect of fumbles and crits without necessitating the effects to be as extreme as some DMs treat them. And, of course, it does achieve its goals: scores and DCs are relative.

However, it has a number of flaws.

First, in order for anything to be done, the player must be directly informed what the DC is. While many DMs do this in any system they run, it's actually counter to design. The players aren't supposed to be gaming the system, they're supposed to be playing the experience. Pulling the curtain back and showing the inner workings of the game eliminates all mystery and reveals the game as a system of number comparisons. It sucks the life out of the game and leaves nothing to surprise. Omnisystem can only have secrets if the DM does the rolling for the players.

Second, it is inefficient. In D&D, you roll a die, add a number (usually a value less than 10) and compare it to a DC. 3 simple steps. The resulting binary condition (pass/fail) requires no further interpretation on a mechanical level. Omnisystem requires a subtraction equasion, a die roll, an addition step to make use of the previous result, and a chart reference. While it is possible to be more efficient (use the subtracted result as a base and add the die roll to it; memorize the chart) the fact that it is reductive makes the system counterintuitive. Most people can't throw their brains into reverse easily and handle subtraction by counting backwards. It doesn't matter that our education system fails to teach effective subtractive logic to most people, it's just the way it is. This slows play because a significant number of players have to stop and "figure out" their roll modifier, slowing play.

Omnisystem still uses a single die for its resolution mechanic, resulting in a flat distribution of results. In other words, it suffers from as much swing as D&D and all other single-die systems. I've already covered the problems with swing in another article.

Overall, Omnisystem is basically D&D turned inside-out. The priorities were focused on simulationist objectives without consideration for playability, resulting in inefficient play characterized by very large points of contact.

For those not in the know, a point of contact is an occasion during play during which players stop role-playing in order to reference, execute, or maintain the system. Examples include...

• Referencing a rule.
• Erasing or rewriting numbers on a character sheet.
• Using a calculator.
• Asking function questions like "what mod do I use?"
• Declaring game values.
• Disagreements over rules or system.
• Placing or moving minis on a map on the table.
• Searching for, rolling, or counting up dice.

Generally, in game design, you want to minimize your points of contact as much as possible. You want them to be infrequent, minor, and otherwise fun in their own right when they are necessitated. Games with many points of contact are considered "rules heavy" games with major points of contact, feel sluggish because people spend "too much" time crunching numbers and referencing tables. Games with boring or unpleasant points of contact are characterized as boring or annoying games. Omnisystem fails on all three fronts.

1. Omnisystem focuses on its core mechanic. It is clearly designed to facilitate the check-heavy play characteristic of 3.5e era gaming. This means that its core mechanic is a frequent point of contact. While not bad in and of itself, this is design suicide when combined with a failure in the other two objectives.
2. Omnisystem has an inefficient core mechanic, which means every time it happens, players take time to exercise the system, interrupting play. This makes the game drag and feel slow. People spend more time doing less compared to other generic systems.
3. Finally, Omnisystem's core mechanic is simply unpleasant. It's math for math's sake. It doesn't feel exciting or risky because there's no mystery. You know exactly what the numbers involved are and exactly what your odds of success are. You aren't really taking a gamble, you're just executing a rule.

People have often asked, what use is RPG theory? The use is that a knowledge of game design will prevent you from making obvious mistakes like what was done in Omnisystem. Someone set real-life stakes on that product as something that could make them a living. People put money and real work into it. Have you ever heard of it, aside from my discussion of it here? Omnisystem was forgotten like so many other poorly designed RPG heartbreakers out there. Someone put time and passion into this thing only for it to be forgotten before it even made an impact. Someone tried to make a living off of this.

If you want to do something professionally, you need to make sure that your service or product can live up to expectations and satisfy the demands of its application. You need to provide what you advertise. If you can't, you won't make it in the market. RPG theory is the technical knowledge to make viable products in the already over-saturated RPG market.

Party Builds

Premade Groups!

I was feeling creative and a little silly today, so I decided to go one step farther than playing with chargen. I decided to go full-on party building, just to see what kinds of things I could make! Here is an overview of what I found to be the most interesting setups. Just a heads-up: I do not follow the Core+1 rule. I follow the "DM picks the ONLY books that are valid for this game and writes houserules on the pages so you don't make mistakes" rule. For these builds, I used everything at my disposal without regard for setting. It was just for fun.

The Standard

Variant Human, Fighter (Champion), Soldier
Lightfoot Halfling, Rogue (Thief), Criminal
High Elf, Wizard (School of Evocation), Sage
Mountain Dwarf, Cleric (Life Domain), Acolyte

Criticize them all you want, you can't argue with the results! This party gets shit done, and gets it done well. The cleric is a source of HP and tanky in his own right. The fighter, with his excess of feats, can stand in for two or three men on the battlefield. The rogue handles skillmonkeying and intrigue. The wizard has mob control and other special effects. There is no weakness in this team, and they can be proud of that.

The Greens

Goliath, Barbarian (Totem Warrior), Outlander
Forest Gnome, Cleric (Nature Domain), Acolyte
Firbolg, Druid (Circle of the Moon), Hermit
Wood Elf, Ranger (Beast Master), Folk Hero

Think of them as a squad of environmental activists... who also happen to be mercenaries for hire... Screw it, let's be honest: in the hands of the players, this is an ecoterrorist cell. Structurally, they are very similar to The Standard. They have a combat-oriented bruiser in their barbarian, the nature cleric is still a perfectly serviceable healer, druids are very diverse spellcasters with the ability to become combat units, and the ranger not only brings extra HP and field presence, but also works very well as a stealth unit and scout. What they lack in specialization however, they more than make up for in one key ingredient: cohesion. No matter what the issue, all four of these characters have at least one thing they can all agree on: nature is something that should be protected and cultivated.

Team Chaos

Tiefling, Cleric (Trickster Domain), Charlatan
Kenku, Sorcerer (Wild Magic), Criminal
Eladrin, Bard (College of Glamour), Noble (Knight Variant)
Ghostwise Halfling, Monk (Way of the Drunken Master), Entertainer

There exist in D&D certain character options (and option combinations) which present themselves as being ripe for abuse. Players get up to all sorts of wacky shenanigans in settlements and roadside taverns, and there are some options that are just too good to be true if all you want is to cause a little mayhem. Enter Team Chaos, a group of the most troublesome people the worlds of D&D have ever known. From a drunken, stage-peforming, telepathic midget to a plane-hopping beguiler of orange and blue morality, to a crook with perfect mimicry and only tenuous control over his magic, to a part-fiend who is commanded by the gods to stir the pot... There is no word to describe the sheer zaniness of their potential hijinks.

Hybrid Kings

Dragonborn, Warlock (The Hexblade), Outlander
Half-Elf, Ranger (Horizon Walker), Sailor
Half-Orc, Bard (College of Swords), Hermit
Tiefling, Paladin (Oath of Conquest), Artisan

Here we have a group of dedicated multitaskers. Each of these characters is built to cover as many roles as possible all at once. Each of them is a mixed breed; a dragon-man, a devil-man, an orc-man, and an elf-man. The hexblade pact warlock is the most blatant red-mage class option available, truly bringing magical force to bear in physical combat, and is made only more effective with the upgrade of dragon breath. The ranger is a classic mixed class, combining roguery with druidic spellcasting, but the horizon walker subclass takes it in a totally different, interplanar direction. The bard is another classic magic rogue type, but this one focused primarily on social dynamics; being a half-orc boosts his combat effectiveness without having any negative impact on his spellcasting too. Finally, our paladin is the perfect blend of powerhouse and healer, with a side dish of arcane toys from being part fiendish. While none of them are very good at any single thing, their true power shines when they put their heads together. Through teamwork, any given pair from this team can outdo any one of the characters from The Standard.

Aetherius Maximus

Rock Gnome, Wizard (School of Conjuration), Artisan
Dragonborn, Sorcerer (Draconic Bloodline), Hermit
Tiefling, Warlock (The Fiend), Sage
Eladrin, Druid (Circle of Dreams), Acolyte

Here's a team nobody has the balls to run with, I'll bet! All full casters with the lowest possible hit die. All of them are paired with a race that has magic-like or convoluted mechanics. We have a conjuror and maker of tiny constructs, a dragonborn who's a little closer than most to the root of his family tree, a tiefling who is in direct contact with grampa, and a teleporting shapeshifter! There's a lot of power here, but they are fragile beyond belief. Even with the toughest of them (the dragonborn) out front, they can't go toe-to-toe with many enemies in a direct fight. Luckily, they're a pretty smart group of people! One can only hope their players are, too...

Team Eeeviiilll

Drow, Cleric (Death Domain), Noble
Orc, Paladin (Oathbreaker), Criminal
Hobgoblin, Wizard (School of Necromancy), Sage
Vampire, Rogue (Assassin), Charlatain

A party composed of only the edgiest of angsty tweenagers! This one's a little wonky, it takes from sources that most DMs would never even allow in their games, even though they're official material. Well I have no fear of evil PCs! Bring it, goth kids! It opens with one of the most metal characters ever: a death worshiping dark elf! I'd welcome this anti-Driz'zt to my table any day! His right-hand-man is a full-blooded orc who went and managed to become a paladin- but gave in to his orcish compulsions and has broken his oath! This character just screams "Antihero fighting a war against himself" while simultaneously kicking ass, healing his allies, AND holding sway over legions of zombies! Next is our hobgoblin necromancer, who would likely be thought of as evil even by his own kind. While hobgoblins welcome magic, they use it for war, and they revere their honored dead. This monster betrays everything his kind stands for, and everything most people believe matters most: the sanctity of life and death. Finally, we have a Plane Shifted Ixalan vampire who also happens to be a professional assassin and social manipulator! I can just imagine the behind-the-scenes power struggle between the avatar of death and the mastermind of murder!

The Hammer

Minotaur, Fighter (Battle Master), Noble (Knight Variant)
Orc, Barbarian (Path of the Berserker), Sailor (Pirate Variant)
Goliath, Monk (Way of the Kensei), Soldier
Lizardfolk, Ranger (Hunter), Criminal

Time to bring out the big guns! This is what happens when you get 4 teenage boys with very little imagination and too much aggression built up. I'll open with the Plane Shifted Amonkhet minotaur battle master. Not only is his race alone enough to give enemies pause, he has one of the most combat-effective class options, spending change, and some NPCs to bully to boot! His buddy, the full orc barbarian pirate, is equally a force to fear, having quite comparable damage output and better mobility. That goliath monk puts power to the expanded weapon options of the kensei monk and can pull the rank card to boss soldiers around if he happens to be in his home land. Finally, we have a lizardfolk in its most natural state: a cold-blooded killing machine, constantly hungry, always watching, always ready, the perfect predator.

Hit Squad

Duergar, Cleric (Death Domain), Acolyte
Kor, Monk (Way of the Shadow), Guild Artisan (Alchemists Guild)
Aarakocra, Rogue (Assassin), Criminal
Drow, Bard (College of Whispers), Charlatain

Finally, we have a team of professional killers. Lead by a dour duergard cleric of death, it is clear what this team's purpose is right from the start. We follow that with a Plane Shifted Kor who follows the ninja-like way of shadow. He's a member of the alchemist's guild, to mix all kinds of dangerous and deadly materials. Next we have an aarakocra assassin, raining death from above in the silence of the night. Finally, we have the heart of the team, a seducer drow from the bard college of whispers, ready to insinuate himself into whatever place his mark takes him. Together, this team could take down just about any individual person with ease.

Go Go Good Guys!

Protector Aasimar, Cleric (Life Domain), Acolyte
Fallen Aasimar, Paladin (Oath of Redemption), Acolyte
Scourge Aasimar, Sorcerer (Divine Soul), Noble
DMG Aasimar, Fighter (Cavalier), Noble (Knight Variant)

Here we have a team of shining goodness! They are all designed to be as obviously "knight in shining armor" as possible. All of them are aasimar, so each is basically part-celestial. They can't help but be heroes. Again, we lead with the cleric, and this one is a blatant hero. A protector from the heavens imbued with the divine power to save and restore life. The next one is a little more interesting: a fallen aasimar who, in a moment of weakness, broke his former oath and became an oathbreaker, but then vowed an oath of redemption to become a redeemer. I almost imagine him and the cleric being from the same order, with the cleric being assigned to him to oversee his progress. Then we have a scourge aasimar whose blood runs stronger with the divine, granting him inate divine spellcasting, born to a noble house- he is a hero-prince. Finally, we have the weakest-blooded of the group, a slightly divine holy knight.

Beast Mode

Aarakocra, Druid (Circle of the Moon)
Lizardfolk, Ranger (Beast Master)
Tabaxi, Barbarian (Totem Warrior)
Triton, Druid (Circle of the Shepherd)

Here's a different riff on The Greens. All four characters are beastman hybrid types. All four characters use class options that relate directly to wildlife. Two of them, the bird and the fish, can turn into other animals, and the fish calls on animal spirits the same way the beast barbarian does. Our serpentine ranger additionally calls animals to his aide in battle.

Transformers

Warforged, Druid (Circle of Dreams), Soldier
Warforged, Druid (Circle of the Land), Soldier
Warforged, Druid (Circle of the Moon), Soldier
Warforged, Druid (Circle of the Shepherd), Noble

Animorphs

Human (Gavony), Druid (Circle of Dreams), Noble
Human (Kessig), Druid (Circle of the Land), Soldier
Human (Nephalia), Druid (Circle of the Moon), Soldier
Human (Stensia), Druid (Circle of the Shepherd), Soldier

These two ideas are just variants of the same joke: A team of all shapeshifters who act like superheroes. I like the idea of warforged druids especially, because it makes me think of the Beastwars series of Transformers from the early 2000s; Robots that turn into animals. The last one with the Noble background would be my pick for Optimus Prime.

The Elite 4

Khenra, Wizard (School of Conjuration), Urban Bounty Hunter
Forest Gnome, Paladin (Oath of the Crown), Criminal
Rock Gnome, Cleric (Trickster), Urchin
Vampire, Ranger (Beastmaster), Noble (Knight Variant)

This party is designed to attach as many different types of NPCs to the party as possible. The first character is a Khenra, a race that is born in twins, strongly encouraging the DM to include an NPC sibling at least. The wizard class has access to Find Familiar, and also gains access to many spells which can permanently animate the dead and temporarily bring atnities to aide in a situation. The Urban Bounty Hunter background gives plenty of reason for this character to have many known NPC contacts at their disposal for professional business. Forest Gnomes have a feature which is intended to allow them to acquire small pets. The paladin class features the Find Steed spell. The criminal explicitly gives the character an NPC contact that they must be able to contact during play somehow. Rock gnomes can make little toys which can partially act autonomously in minor ways. Clerics have access to a number of spells which can be used to bring extraplanar entities to bear, and trickster clerics can create illusory copies of themselves. The urchin background gives you a pet mouse. The Innistrad vampire race turns its victims into vampire-like servantile creatures. Beastmasters have access to some spells that make it easier to acquire pets, and they also get a dedicated companion animal. The noble background's knight variant grants two automatic non-combat NPCs. I can imagine this party hiring teams of NPCs, purchasing dragon/wyvern/griffon eggs, building fortresses filled with personal armies, etc.

Scriptography: Druidic

So, ever since I read The Hobbit, I have had a love for language and linguistics. And, like many DMs, I have always strove to bring a bit of that mystery and excitement to my players. In that spirit, I have decided to begin sharing my work for others to use. The first one to get shared is probably the simplest of them all: The Druidic script.

In 5th edition, druids get their own secret language. It's supposed to be cryptic, mysterious, and hard to translate, a lot like Thieves Cant but less sneaky. My premise behind this wasn't to build a whole new language, but rather, just a way of transcribing English into a cipher that can be hidden in interesting and fun ways, as well as having traits that allow me to play games with the players.

I achieved this in three ways:

1. I made the alphabet limited and ambiguous, allowing me to use the same combination of letters to represent many words.
2. I gave the letters an extremely atypical method of inscription that is hard to intuit at a glance and easily hidden in other shapes.
3. I gave the language several modes of inscription which can change meanings, or even give the same sentence multiple meanings.

All together, these three traits give druidic the ability to be turned into a puzzle. A letter from a druid could seem normal, but there might be a message calling for help hidden in the artwork drawn at the side of the page. A sign might seem to be a compliment from a good druid, but actually be a disguised threat from an evil one. Determining the correct words for an ambiguous sign could be part of a puzzle in a dungeon.

More than that though, there's some degree of historic justification behind the structure of the language. Many ancient languages had either idiographic alphabets, or very limited alphabets which required some degree of intuition to understand. One significant theme is that of languages not recognizing vowel sounds until much later in their development. Hebrew, for example, has only consonants, and even these are not strictly phonetic. Ancient languages also tend to be built such that they can be written with the available tools of the time. Runic languages are built in straight lines so that they can be easily written with a flat chisel, and cuneiform is structured to be written by pressing a cut reed into wet clay, for example. My premise here is the idea that druidic is a sort of incredibly well preserved proto-language script meant to be written with whatever debris happens to be laying around, and was only later adapted for use with more advanced writing tools. An absolutely stone-age form of writing that could not possibly be preserved archaeologically, and persists exclusively by the oral teachings of druids passing the knowledge down across generations.

If that all sounds like fun to you, take a peek at the PDF!